Turkey Part I: The Wedding

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Blue Aqua maxi dress, Monsoon shrug

Last week I experienced probably one of the most fun, most bizarre and most interesting days of my lives. I was in Turkey for my cousin’s wedding, who married a Kurdish guy from out there. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect when me, various cousins, uncles and aunties piled into a minibus and headed for an hour’s drive to this small town/village. 

We were instantly thrown straight into the first tradition – the bride and the groom were already in a car, followed by a procession of other cars driving around the town, beeping horns, to signal a celebration. The village kids came running after the cars, jumping on them, with some even sliding down the front bonnet. One of the men from the village jumped out and straight up kicked this young boy, and threw rocks at others! It seems it doesn’t matter whose child it is, there were no rules around smacking someone else’s child, let alone your own. A little shocking, but the kids stayed smiling so I don’t think anyone was too hurt.

Then other traditions included breaking a clay pot, hours of Kurdish dancing and pinning money onto the bride and groom. Oh and the kids loved us! They loved being centre of attention and wouldn’t let me stop snapping pictures of them posing! But they were all so cute. And amazingly, it was the kids who were doing all of the work, from serving food to cleaning up (sweeping, moving chairs, wiping down surfaces... no half-hearted job!!). I've uploaded a few cute pics at the end of the blog.

OK, moving on to the reason why you’re reading this!! The styling part. I didn't wear Asian clothes as it was a Turkish wedding, where most people tend to wear 'English'-style outfits. So I wore this beautiful blue Aqua maxi dress – I absolutely am in love with this. Everything about it is so simple yet so elegant. From the way the fabric drapes, to the contrasting jersey part at the top, to how it is longer at the back so when you walk the dress flows to nicely behind. You can buy it on Asos still here, it’s on sale for £33 (bargain!!), however there are only limited sizes left. If you want to find a similar dress, look for bold colours like this one – looks amazing and look for light fabric which isn’t jersey material. Jersey will cling to you much more, whereas this one flows over and is much more modest.

I covered up with a Monsoon silver shrug and matching silver bling bling shoes. I added a Zara belt in exactly the same colour as the dress, as without it I tended to look a little pregnant!! If I was wearing hijab with this, I would wear a grey/silver to blend in with the shrug.

The same dress styled in a different way

I’ve also uploaded pics of me wearing the dress in a different style. This is over a black long-sleeved top and matching hijab. Just some ideas how you can create quite a different look. The black probably wouldn’t have been as suitable for a wedding, but for another event it would be perfect.

That’s all from me for now! But after the wedding I went to Istanbul for a short visit, so I’ll be following this blog up with another about my Istanbul trip!! Look out for it soon.

Sticks and Stones…

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One of my early memories at primary school was when I was around 5 years old. My best friend Emma told me her parents said she was not allowed to play with brown people anymore. I remember the 6 second pause between us both and me throwing my arms around her with a flood of apologies and running off to play elsewhere. I basically felt awful for being brown and that was what I was so sorry about! I remember the guilt stayed with me for weeks and me trying to figure out how I could solve this issue - as if it was my fault and it was me with the problem. It actually cracks me up today thinking back because it almost shows my understanding on racism and how simple my mind was.

I am actually not sure where I am going with this blog but something happened last week which makes me really want to share my story about the other side of wearing a ‘Hijab’ i.e. the prejudices which is very much apparent today. Wearing the headscarf instantly identifies your faith and will attract all sorts of attention, and lets be honest being a Muslim in a western country can sometimes attract not a positive one.
My story has been quite rocky from the simple whispers of being called an ‘Iraqi P*ki’ (Lol. I love it when they rhyme), being accused of carrying ‘weapons of mass destruction’ on me (Lol. I struggle to get my brolly in my bag) to my worse last year someone chucking alcohol on me and shouting ‘sorry, I’m not a Muslim!’ (This was not cool and made me so angry!), my list could seriously go on, some more harsh then others.
A lot of these comments I take like water of a ducks back, I must admit I have a pretty twisted sense of humour and can easily find humour in almost anything. I mean the creative abuse I have heard in the past have been pretty impressive i.e. not all these losers are dumb.

I hope this doesn’t show a weakness, but I will be honest - although I love bright Hijabs and I love my identity, I do avoid wearing them when heading to work as I travel quite a distance alone. I always stick to neutrals to try blend in and attract as little attention as possible. Especially now its dark walking home, I keep my hood up to not get noticed.

I just wanted to say to anyone that can relate to me is just to take it on the chin and don’t take things to heart as they do not know you at all. Whatever funny look you get on a train platform or passing comment you hear walking down the street. Seriously just smirk! It’s only ignorance and lack of education. My advice also is NEVER react (I must admit back in the day I would run home and round up my troops of siblings and declare war!) Today there are too many crazies out there and you just don’t know what they could do. Be the better person.

I do feel it’s important to always remain grounded; I am an extremely strong character when it comes to this sort of stuff as I have too many amazing friends from all backgrounds which would never allow me to hate or get angry due to a minority.

I know each of us has a story to tell, even if you are not Muslim, there are too many prejudices out there for everyone.
It’s a shame that I also see this between Muslims themselves, this can be due to petty things like cast or culture. A lot of people need to chill out and get along, I love seeing a mixture of people hanging out and gone past the days of Uni when all the Asian kids used to sit alone together. I mean I remember once at Uni a Pakistani person asking me why I chilled with Pakistanis couldn’t I hang with my own? (big LOL - That cracks me up). You can seriously learn a lot from each other and can honestly have some great debates too!

I have named this blog ‘Sticks and Stones’, although the rhyme tells us ‘names can never hurt us’, I know they can. If anyone ever wants to email or generally talk about this issue in detail, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Accessorising your Hijab

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When faced with a special event it’s a great chance to experiment with accessories and styles.

I have a couple of quick tricks for you girls to play with:

Multiple Scarves
Never be afraid to add together extra pieces to a hijab. The high street is bursting with many scarves which may not accommodate to fully covering your head, however you can still use them to enhance the base of your hijab.

I actually do this a lot. I tend to have my canvas hijab and then add in an extra colour, that way I am confident that my hair is fully covered. If you use your additional piece as a wrap over and tie on side or even around your head, it looks really stylish.
I found inspiration in this look from the Bedouin Arab, I love watching the old movies and I love the way the women would tie extra pieces around their heads. Old trends are now being refreshed so we can easily get away with it today.

Adding Jewellery
Every girl must have a box of hidden treasures; I am constantly randomly buying pieces to add into mine. When dressing your scarf, anything can literally go when it comes to jewellery. I have often used necklaces to tie across my head; the way to keep this in place is with safety pins (and lots of them). Don’t be afraid to use any means of adhesive i.e. tape. As long as you have another scarf to cover this you will be good.
I use any type of jewellery to do this with an outfit. I even have played with belts too! What do you think of the images? I love the necklace against the black jilbab and the white lace with headband looks perfect!

The Mystical Cloak
I am massive fan of fantasy movies and adore the way in which cloaks are used. This will be by far an extremely modest look. Take these inspirations and pull it into your own. I love loose hoods over a hijab; I think the look is very angelic and stunning and would definitely give you the wow factor.
Any seamstress would easily be able to do this for you and would add in the detail you require. A satin fabric does look beautiful.

Note - the amazing make over was done by my best friend Musarat Ahmed, check her out on facebook, shes a brilliant make up artist!

The Maysaa hoodie

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I have to blog about this outfit! It’s the Jersey Insert hoodie that I bought from Maysaa and wore to work. Love, love, love it!!  It’s casual yet chic, beautifully cut and mixes two textures to really stand out.

Maysaa hoodie, Topshop trousers, New Look wedges

It’s designer? Hana Tajima-Simpson. I look up to inspirational women, but it's bonus when they are Muslim women. And, to me, there’s nothing more inspirational than somebody putting their all into something they love. Hana is better known as the woman behind StyleCovered and the designer behind Maysaa – she’s successfully carved out a business out of her passion. And even more impressive – she’s damn good at it too. 

Her clothing line has some beautiful pieces at affordable prices – this hoodie is currently on sale for £25 (can be bought here). It looks a lot more expensive than it is and the detail on the trim it so classy. I tried it on with some jewellery but didn’t think I needed anything to detract from the detail, so I kept it simple, paired with Topshop peg-leg trousers and tan-coloured New Look boot wedges to break up the all-black. If you are hearing a hijab with this, you can place the hijab so the trim still shows, at least on the sides, and it will also show on the hood at the back.. because of the material, I would stick to a muted colour so as to not take attention away from the top - I think grey would look great!

Image taken from Maysaa.com

Have a look at the Maysaa website for more outfit ideas!

The Infamous Camel Hump Hijab

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Only a couple of weeks ago, my aunty was talking about Islamic dress and made a point how she dislikes the way girls are now 'piling up the hijab'

She actually quoted a hadith to me, which played on my mind a lot. She mentioned that women who do this will not smell the perfume in Jennah, to be honest it is only recently I found out that there was a Hadith about this. I will be honest I really love experimenting with style, and did adore positioning my Hijab high.

The hadith states;

Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said: There will be in the last of my ummah, scantily dressed women, the hair on the top of their heads like a camel's hump. Curse them, for verily they are cursed. [At-Tabarani and Sahih Muslim]

I wouldn’t say I’ am the greatest at debating religion therefore I will not go into detail about this hadith, as I know there will be so many interpretations and I do not feel I am the right person to voice an opinion on this level on a public domain.

The one thing I can say that each of us will be judged for our own deeds.
On a personal level this has made me think twice before I style as it’s made me want to read further along this subject. I wanted to bring this to the attention to sisters (like me a couple of weeks ago) who was not aware.

Another thing I wanted to mention was that I feel that we need to give our Hijabi sisters a bit of slack; I’am strong believer that no one has the right to place judgement on anyone, only Allah (swt) knows our intentions. One thing I am very aware of is the way Hijabi sisters are scrutinised pretty quickly; I do understand we have a responsibility in a Hijab, however! I do also feel that we are also all human.
From my own experiences I do find in unfair when someone passes a comment on a girl in a scarf for the way she may be dressed, I think we should sit back and think ‘mashallah’ in this western society she is not afraid to make people aware of what is her deen.

No one is better nor superior to anyone else, and for every girl who rocks her hijab… much love to you <3 and to those sisters who don’t, a lot of love for you too <3