Every (
well most) girls dream about her Prince Charming
riding along on a horse, swooping her off her feet and living happily ever
after!
Some of us assume that we will bump into him/her on a train,
wedding, uni or even at work. But unfortunately that’s not always the case as it’s
becoming even more so difficult to meet/find ‘the one’. Now, within the over 26’s
age bracket and still using the excuse of career and travel, I do feel I have
come to a point that my ‘fairy tale’ may need a little nudge.
So here comes the Marriage Event, for all those who do not
know what a Marriage Event is, please see the definition below;
“A Marriage event is created for Muslims who are looking for
a partner for marriage, to meet within a Halal environment”.
I have always been curious about Marriage Events as I have
heard so many different stories, from Horror to Great! Someone once told me it
was like a ‘cattle market’, you’re given a sticker and watched within a group
while people write your number down to want a one to one. I was also told it
was ‘survival of the fittest’, it’s made up of ‘overly made up people’
showcasing their beauty to attract potentials. All the above made me never want
to be a part of anything like that, in fact the thought of that was my
nightmare!
However, I did want to go check it out as I wanted to
explore ‘all’ avenues of meeting a potential husband.
The event was held 2 weeks ago in a Hotel in Manchester and
cost £25 each (although it was £15 2 days before the booking was made) - this did
not include dinner (gutted!), just refreshments i.e. Twirl bites, Bombay mix, nuts
etc (and water). I guess the funds went
into the glam setting (as I don’t want to say out loud that the organisers
perhaps are making a lovely profit playing on people’s emotions to meet
someone).
My lovely sister in law decided to take me to the event and
that 25min car ride was the most nerve racking ever. I guess being the first
time for me, I just didn’t know what to expect. All I knew is that I would be
way out of my comfort zone and the thought of meeting so many people for
marriage at once panicked me! As we got close, It was really interesting trying
to find a parking space as I kept spotting others who were going, which made me
even more so nervous as they were in traditional outfits and I was in jeans and
a casual top, I was kind of worried if I had not made enough effort for this!
After sitting in the car for a further 10mins getting a ‘pep
talk’ from my friend that ‘I will be ok’ - we decided to make the run in. The
lobby of the hotel was pretty quiet and we were told by the concierge to head
to the 2nd floor (they instantly knew why we were there - cringe!). Heading to
the 2nd floor must have taken forever as nerves were really now at
its optimum. When we finally found the room before we entered we were asked to
find our name on a list and given a sticker with a number ‘I was S19’ (Sister
19) and told to sit on table 5. Both my friend and I walked in to find a room
almost set like a wedding venue, about 10 round tables with mixed groups sat
down. On our table there was just one guy sat there, my 2 friends and I joined him
with a Salaam (the event hadn’t quite yet started) and we all sat there pretty
quietly. Skimming the room, you could see everyone was quiet (just friends
talking amongst each other). The event was running about 20mins late, but the
room gradually filled up with the late comers. At this point our table had 4
guys and 3 girls (me included) and no one quite said a word. I guess we were
waiting for a bell to tell us we could start! The table had sheets of paper of
topics for us to talk about i.e. Hobbies, work and expectations on marriage. (I
guess this was in case things got too quiet or maybe to patronise us because we
may not have social skills). The table also had cards to write down email
addresses and phone numbers if you saw someone you liked.
After 45mins (late start), the host finally did an introduction
followed by a beautiful duaa on Marriage and off we went. We were told we had
15-20mins to talk and then the brothers would be told to rotate to another
table! On the table we awkwardly all introduced ourselves and chatted about
generic stuff, I am a natural talker so I was fine just chatting away, but some
on the table were pretty quiet and I felt that the confident ones were clearly dominating
the topics. The range of people at the event was interesting from a scientist,
to a fireman, to someone that worked at a supermarket and groups that hadn’t lived
in the UK for long. There was mixture of ages from 25 to 55? We chatted to
everyone, 4 at a time for the 15-20mins slot. We also found some of the guys
there was really not taking the event seriously, I felt it was almost like they
was forced to go to make up numbers (it would have been interesting to know how
much they paid compared to the girls, as typically the 50 girl slots were filled
first and there was 9 spaces left for males at the event). I also found that everyone was Pakistani too
(not that I mind, but there was definitely not a mixed group at all). I was
actually sat on a table with 2 brothers who told me they wasn’t interested in ‘non
Pakistanis’ (awkward15-20 mins).
After 90 mins of chatting, I was so exhausted I had
forgotten what I had said to people. I could feel a headache coming on and I
was also getting bored. After Magrib we had the chance to have one to ones with
anyone that we liked (it was a free for all) and was really really awkward. We
had organisers calling us by our numbers i.e. ‘S19 - B12 (Brother 12) wanted to
talk as did B3, B21 and B17! To be honest S19 just wanted to go (didn’t meet
anyone who suited me) and thought how awful that would be to talk to someone
and the other one waiting on the table to chat next!
I do believe the event I attended was not great and lacked
organisation and a wide range of people, I do feel that if you are thinking
about going (do!), just remember to read up about the people going i.e. there are
some events set up especially for professionals and specific culture groups.
I must say this is my first and last marriage event, I didn’t
have the best experience, and in fact writing up about it has brought up bad
memories!
My Duaa’s go out to all singletons looking for a partner,
Insha’Allah you are blessed with someone amazing. Try not to worry too much as
everything is written for us and I have faith in Allahs swt plans.
If anyone has any thoughts or advice on events give us a
shout! i.e. do you have any ideas on how these events can be organised/done
better?
